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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can get us: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?